Chicago

I have to say that Chicago was pretty great. I got to see Lake Michigan. It made me so happy. I felt like I was looking out at the ocean. It was beautiful. It was really nice spending time with ubai with no real distractions. i know now that we'll always be ok. we can do it together. i was able to rely on him and he was there for me when i was freaking out. i appreciated that and i needed to see that. i love him.

let's see what else was great about that trip. it was cool being able to experience some things that i never have before. the roof was a nice change and it reminded me that i don't have to be so boring. i can do things and still be me. i can be very social and i enjoy doing things. it was also pretty cool going to the film festival. i've never been to one. being in the city for a few days made me think that i'd like to be in a bigger city at some point. i love having access to just about everything that i need. bigger muslim populations would be nice. people that look like me and sound like me and grew up like me too is nice.

last but not least, i have to say that the best part of the trip for me was reconnecting with nati. sometimes things are so messed up, or we are so messed up that we don't see the good we have in front of us. neither of us was ready to be friends for lots of reasons. we were too messed up, but i hope all of that is done now. we had a short time, but had a couple of good, and necessary talks. i needed that, but it didn't know how much i did. i missed my best friend for a long, long time. i just didn't realize how much. sometimes we have soul mates. i have a few. some get different parts of me. she gets the part i've been looking for for a while. i didn't even know i had missed it.

So grateful i was able to go. thank you, god. thank you chicago, for reminding me of what i needed in my life. <3